BY: JOHN R

What happens when a five year old child is locked in a dungeon, lives on meat and bread scraps, and is beaten every day? You have ONE MEAN ADULT. Castle Freak is a frighteningly possible tale of one man's inheritance of a seemingly uninhabited castle...

...other than the painstakingly edgy Mexican maid, shackled creature of rage, and cat corpse. Armed with a chain and broken shackle, this monster is pissed!

A dysfunctional, average American family inherits an Italian castle from a distant relative. A little exploring by the blind daughter reveals a grotesque creature's existence in the bowels of the castle. After the monster gets his first taste of live meat, he has the strength to wreak havoc on the new dwellers of his home. The daughter tries to warn the family that someone is in the castle, but the recovering alcoholic father is too busy liquidating assets to listen to his melodramatic offspring. It doesn't take long for the local authorities to start knocking on the giant doors looking for lost civilians. A surprising kink in the family tree leads up to the climax.

FUN FACT: "Castle Freak" is based on H.P. Lovecraft's short story "The Outsider."

This is not the kind of film you want to curl up and watch with a girl, unless your lady friend doesn't mind cupping her own breasts in agony. The monster is frighteningly realistic. They used 100% makeup/ latex coverage to create this creature, which had only been done with one other film at the time. The effects team did a great job making a human still look flesh and blood, while creating the realism of consistent torture over a long period of time. Big thumbs up. The Ultra Slime is a great touch as well!

Surprisingly enough, the acting is not that bad either. This is, of course, a general statement because you can't win all the time when you're talking B-flicks. The monster really does react to his new experiences with accuracy - frightened, and great display of rage while still human in every way, which makes it all the more scary to watch. Unlike most films that go for shock value, this one stays close to lifelike seriousness, with just the right amount of dark humor within the script.

I did notice a little mistake within the plot, but then again I am too much of a critic. If you don't notice it, then I shouldn’t be the one to point it out for you, so it's all up to you. Some parts of this film do tend to drag, but those moments are necessary to build up to the final twist. The quality of filming is rather dull and old fashioned. The film was made in 1995, so that quality is common for that time period. I would have loved some extreme angles and camera effects; that would have given it much more visual appeal.

All in all, I loved this film. Not too B-flicky for Miramax, WB, or Trimark fans, but I feel it meets the criteria of grade A cheesiness. I also enjoyed how they didn't try to prove something by going above and beyond in a ridiculous manner as some B-flicks do. They just keep to the grim story and don't try to force anything on the viewer. Definitely not a snoozer, but I know some people who have slept through some of my favorite movies of all time!

To sum up, I really think everyone who reads this review should go and check out "Castle Freak" from Full Moon Pictures. I would rate it an 7 out of 10, but I am a rough critic. I hope you will give it a bigger rating then mine. Check out other titles by Full Moon as well, for they are a goldmine of goodness.

Check out the trailer - in French!

Like the chicken and the egg, JOHN R knows not whether it is writers or music that inspire him the most. Creative minds like Theodore Roszak, Samuel Beckett, Kevin Ogilvie and David Thrussell inspired him to look, live, and think deeper then most of his peers, and he feels that most of the creative and revolutionary minds we now speak so fondly of were considered just short of shoe scum during their mortal life. Maybe a deep appreciation for the lesser known is his way of showing homage to the wonders life has to offer, or perhaps he never grew out of those teenage "Goth" tendencies, such as avoiding the mainstream like the plague and spending far too much time doing research instead of interacting with the rest of the world. Whatever the case, John's diverse interests and life experiences help him fit right in at Bookmans Ina.