Listen: I love Cats as much as the next theater camp alumni. Yes, the concept is weird. Not only is it a musical entirely about felines, but it also asks the question, “What if cats not only sang and danced but they also all gathered once a year to ask their patriarch to be reborn and given another life?”

Cats musical movie still frame

Based on a book of poetry by TS Elliot (THE cat person, apparently) Cats is hands-down the most bizarre musical. However, it also stands as one of the longest-running shows with the longest-running choreography. It has catchy, beautiful music that proves Andrew Lloyd Webber could make literally ANY concept work on stage. Bless him. Still, must we with the Cats movie? And not only that, a CGI version nonetheless? To top off, they cast a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet and CGI her as a cat. A complete misuse of your resources if you ask me.

But I digress. This isn’t a blog about Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats. It’s about all the other possible Broadway musical properties Hollywood could also turn into movies for the first time or as a fresh remake. Better movies. Each one has my theater nerd stamp of approval.

Cabaret

For the love of Bob Fosse, someone do a new Cabaret movie while we still have Alan Cumming! Though the Kit Kat Klub has debuted on the big screen before with THE Liza Minnelli playing Sally Bowles, it could definitely use another go at the box office. Set in 1920-30 in Berlin amidst the Nazi regime’s rise to power, the entertainers at the Kit Kat Klub enjoy a carefree life of song, dance, and booze. But as the show progresses and the ominous reality of Hitler’s power becomes more obvious, they all have to realize that life is not a cabaret.

Favorite Number – Mein Her

Sweet Charity

It’s clear that I have a thing for Bob Fosse. Charity Hope Valentine is a dance hall hostess at the Fandango Ballroom in New York. Our vibrant heroine wears her heart on her sleeve, unlucky in love but a generous friend. Sweet Charity features mod dance numbers and big hits like Big Spender and If They Could See Me Now. It was adapted into a film in 1969 staring Shirley MacLaine. It also stands as Bob Fosse’s directorial debut.

Favorite Number – Big Spender

Anything Goes

Every Musical fan knows Anything Goes. Nothing beats that title song and the drama of its first line “Times have changed.” Anything Goes is an old school musical at its best. There are amazing tap numbers, perfect chorus songs, entertaining characters, hijinks, and adventures aboard an ocean liner. A tale of mistaken identities, Billy Crocker succumbs to love at first sight when sharing a cab with heiress Hope Harcourt. Crocker follows Hope and boards the SS American in hopes to win the girl. Hilarity ensues. Total box office gold right here.

Favorite number – Anything Goes

There you have it. Three musicals that could be a part of – and maybe make up for the shortcomings – of the Broadway musical movie revival starting with Cats. No one wants to see Idris dance and sing more than I, but he would make an AHHHHHHmazing Lord Evelyn Oakleigh or Cliff Bradshaw.

What musicals do you love? Does a Cats film sound like a purrfect idea or is it the theatrical equivalent to a litter box? No matter what, I will see the Cats movie. I refuse to live in a world where I don’t give Jennifer Hudson all my money.