It’s now the middle of October and my spooky season movie watching has only progressed into a full-time obsession. From my Scream franchise marathon to the greatness that is Hocus Pocus and the Halloweentown movies, I’ve really been watching everything across the board. But, let’s talk about what I’m truly in love with — Ready or Not.

Released in 2019, Ready or Not follows Grace (Samara Weaving) as she marries into the Le Domas family, an extremely wealthy family that has made its fortune off of board games. However, there’s a catch, she has to play a single game on her wedding night to be fully initiated. That game? Hide and Seek. Well, a lethal game of Hide and Seek.

ready or not dvd cover

After finding this movie a few months ago, I’ve probably watched it once a month since. Recently, I streamed the movie to social distance watch it with a few friends who were watching it for the first time. So, like any diligent friend, I decided to document their thoughts. Spoilers ahead for Ready or Not. You’ve been warned.

Ready or not, here we go!

– Samara Weaving is my favorite comedy horror actress of all time, I hope you’re ready to go on this ride with me.

– “Moderately, that’s pretty generous.”

– This wedding dress is everything.

– You know, if two members of the same family give you an out to not marry into the family, that may mean something…

– Gotta love a horror movie with a creepy grandmother figure.

– Especially one that watches you make out with your new husband…

– I would, however, find it really cool to make all my money from board games.

– “Are you prepared to do what’s necessary?”

– Never trust a family that talks to cryptically.

– Of course, the lady in white is the bride…that would just be rude.

– Seriously, if there are guns on the wall and everyone sits stoically around a table, just run.

– Oof, Mrs. McMurray.

– Creepy aunt has a dope haircut tho. Living that pixie life.

– Where do I get this magic box tho?

– Hide and Seek, that doesn’t sound so bad right? So why are ya’ll so weird about it?

– WHAT IS THIS SONG? I would like to buy it immediately.

– At least let her change out of the wedding dress first… it’s going to get ruined.

– How does he not know what a crossbow is?

– I’m realizing I’m asking a lot of questions that no one will answer.

– SEE SHE ALREADY TORE THE DRESS

– Jesus, never grab someone by covering their mouth! That’s just kidnappy.

– OH DAMN, SHE DEAD. Babysitter down!

– I really love that they don’t really care that she shot her in the face…

– “HEY, it’s going to be okay…” gurgles blood

– Of course, there is ONE bad card. Also, of course, if there wasn’t there wouldn’t be a movie.

– Cocaine mustache.

– Chucks and a wedding dress, I really should have done that.

– “You wanted to get married.” “SO THIS IS MY FAULT?” NO!

– Oh not the dress. It’s so pretty, don’t ruin it. Even tho now it’s a cute tea-length dress.

– Emily and her sharpshooting skills need some work.

– Emily also needs to get her substance abuse in check.

– Who willingly signs up for this? Honestly, who?

– HAHA they pause talking every time the maid gurgles up more blood. OH DANG SHE AXED HER HEAD OFF.

– YES check yourself out in that mirror with your sling of bullets and rifle. That’s a look.

– Oh but the gun doesn’t work…

– Who whistles this song? Just out here whistling classical music…

– Serious family issues when you start choking out your dad.

– Smart girl, hide in the… little elevator… oh, Scream flashbacks.

– I love that she just falls past the window of the dude googling “pacts with the devil real or not?”

– GEORGIE THRU THE HAND?? COME ON MAN! yeah! punch him the child in the face for that!

– Oh gross… bones… NOPE NOPE NOPE.

– Close up on the nail. That’s foreshadowing. OH… OH… NO NO NO OW.

– Not going to lie, Samara sort of screams like a goat.

– THAT IS ONE SHARP GATE!

– Adam Brody may very well be my favorite part of this entire movie.

– “DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?” “Yes, Hide and Seek… remember?”

– “If you barf I’ll barf.” I feel this.

– How messed up does your family have to be to tell a kid you’re proud of him for trying to murder your brother’s wife?

– “People are trying to kill me, can you help me?” Lojack here for the rescue. “Ma’am the car was reported stolen….” Shuts off the damn car? JUSTIN SHE JUST TOLD YOU THAT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL HER.

– HOW DID HE CATCH UP TO THE CAR SO QUICKLY? HOW SLOW WAS SHE DRIVING???

– WITH THE LOUD CLASSICAL MUSIC AGAIN? This is why you don’t celebrate early, old chap. You crash a car! Tho, I really love the family just watching him get his butt kicked.

– “Thanks for crashing your car into my tranquility.” Adam Brody with the best one-liners.

– Where do I purchase one of these culty robes? I need one for sure.

– Passing around the same cup, in this climate? Social distance people.

– Ew. Blood vomit. “POISONED”

– “I knew you’d help me.” “I didn’t.”

– ADAM NO! NOT ADAM!

– I ALSO NEED YOU DANIEL, DON’T GO!

– How many people are out there wishing they could beat their mother-in-law with a demon box? Hmm?

– THE SUN IT BURNS US! Oh, wait….no, it doesn’t.

– KABOOM!

– I love this song still, don’t even care.

– Also, how do you live in a house so large you can’t tell it’s ON FIRE?

– So she inherits the money now right?

– Covered in blood, in a wedding dress, smoking a cigarette is a mood.

– “What happened to you?” “In-laws.”