I had the pleasure of a lazy Sunday, a day filled with junk food, puppy cuddles and catching up on recent releases that I’ve been anxiously waiting to see. The day was glorious — fabulously counter productive with a minimal amount of cleanliness and adulating required. The cherry on top was not the entire bag of Hot Cheetos consumed or the 3-hour nap that took place, but rather the astounding enjoyment received from watching Collin Firth in all his classy glory as super spy Harry Hart in Kingsman: The Secret Service on Blu-ray. I watched it two days in a row and will now gush over it for the next few paragraphs.

Bookmans Recommends Collin Firth in Kingsmen

Eggsy played by Taron Egerton, a London street kid and, let’s face it, a total charmer, is recruited by Hart to join a super secret spy agency known as the Kingsman. Although the whole street-wise-brat-given-a-chance-to-better-himself-and-ultimately-brings-fresh-perspective-to-snobby-agency-while-saving-the-world story is not anything new, Kingsman is a new and exciting take on this classic tale. For one, it’s rated R so you know our protagonist talks like a real person instead of saying things like, “Gosh darn, I’m just a poor bloke from the wrong side of the tracks.” Also Firth’s cursing as Hart is almost as great as his Mr. Darcy, which we all know is the best. That’s a discussion for another time.

Instead let’s discuss the action sequences of Kingsman in detail. You know that hate group that found its way into your social media feeds and causes you to reevaluate your “friends” with a continuous flow of delete, delete, DELETE while cleaning house of the 200+ acquaintances you managed to rack up? In Kingsman, the fictional version of that group is subjected to a violent bloody death at the hand of the enraged Hart. We don’t want to say it’s satisfying, but it totally is. Especially satisfying because before the beat down Hart says to one particular bigot, “I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, Hail Satan! And have a lovely afternoon madam.” Told you it is almost as good as his Mr. Darcy. It might surpass it. We’re torn. You decide.

Samuel L. Jackson, ladies and gentlemen. The villain, Jackson plays a billionaire who after coming to terms with the fact that global warming is unfixable and we are all screwed decides to take matters into his own hands. I won’t give away spoilers, but let’s just say that a Bond-esque villain with a lisp and no stomach for violence makes this movie worth watching. Oh! I must mention his “muscle” is a woman with bionic legs that can literally cut a man in half — lengthwise. She’s totally messed up and incredibly violent and I seriously wish we were best friends.

Hey, I managed to keep this rave under six paragraphs! Impressive given how badass this movie is. If you haven’t seen Kingsman: The Secret Service, I highly recommend you drive, run, walk, peddle or sashay your way to your nearest Bookmans and pick up a copy. It is so worth it. We can not guarantee stock so call ahead if you want to be sure a copy is available.

Oh, and one final reason! Kingsman is based on the comic book The Secret Service, which features Mark Hamill in its first issue. Yes! The actor. Kidnapped and held hostage in the Swiss Alps. Watch for a fantastic little Easter egg in reference to that within the first fifteen minutes of the movie.

Oxfords not brogues.