Mad Men’s Don Draper once uttered these words: “What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.”  This is Valentine’s Day in a nutshell.  Just another way for chocolate factories and card companies to line their wallets.  You know this, I know this, we all know this. So this year lets do something about it!

On February 14th, instead of playing along with the sham, l’ve decided to spend my Valentine’s Day in protest. What’s my master plan, you ask? A Break-Up Movie Marathon. Back-to-back films that feature dysfunctional relationships and “unhappily-ever-after” endings. That’ll show ‘em!

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Most of us have been through a pretty tough break up. Very few of us have decided to undergo a medical procedure with the intention of completely eradicating our ex from our memories. Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet star in this Dramedy that deals with the inevitability of heartbreak. Perfect to kick-off our protest.
2. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a comedy about a young man, Peter, trying to overcome his feelings for his TV star ex-girlfriend, Sarah Marshall.  Desperate to turn over a new leaf, Peter decides to take a resort vacation in Hawaii, only to discover that Sarah Marshall is currently staying at the same resort. This is by far the most lighthearted film on the list, but it’s still about break-ups so it counts.  

3. (500) Days of Summer
(500) Days of Summer chronicles the romance between Tom and Summer.  There’s a reason this movie is called “500 Days of Summer” and not “Infinity Days of Summer”.  Spoiler alert, it doesn’t work out.  One of the greatest break-up films of all time, it would be a shame to not include this one on the list.  
4. Revolutionary Road
Okay, now we’re getting to the nitty gritty. Sure to make your mama cry, this film starring DiCaprio and Winslet (2 movies in 1 list? What a heartbreaker!) tells the story of a married couple bound for France, determined to escape their mundane 1950’s suburban existence.  When their plans are dashed by an unexpected pregnancy, their relationship quickly takes a turn for the worse.  In order to maximize the “Stickin’ it to the man” effect, save this one for last.

If you’re missing any of these films from your collection be sure and stop by to snag them before staging your protest.  You’re gonna want at least 4 movies in your lineup if you really want to make a statement. And if you’ve got any better break-up film suggestions, leave them in the comments below.  I’m all about that maximum impact!